Sunday, October 27, 2013

FUME

"And now, ladies and gentlemen, I'm proud to announce and introduce to you the latest model of our novelty FUME product line. A versatile cleaning agent which is certainly not biologically degradable, so it can remain in the top soil for decades or even centu..."
"Sorry to interrupt you, sir. How did you say? What kinda product line?"
"FUME."
"Hewn?"
"No, FUME."
"Fuel?"
"No, no! FUME. Like fume."
"Ain't heard of it."
"Sure?"
"Sure."
"But everybody uses it..."
"I certainly don't."
"Of course you do. Perhaps you just don't know you do."
"Well, cleaning agents are up for my wife to buy..."
"You see? Does your wife buy a hell lot of brands?"
"Why, yes. Come to think of it..."
"Then you can be sure that you have some FUME products under your wash basin." 
"But I'm certain I haven't heard of this thing... Pretty strange name for cleaning agents!"
"It's not a name, it's initials."
"Really? What do they stand for?"
"Fuck - Up - Mother - Earth."